Abierto al vacío



Lo que escapa del camino que corre entre los ojos

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A dream of evil.



Some years ago I had a dream that stroke me as one of those more real than reality dreams, I found it full of meaning.

I was walking in the countryside with a friend, talking and laughing, in some kind of trip. We were walking at the edge of the rode on the green grass, the landscape was that of the rural regions of the center of my country.


He was walking in front of me, I was concentrated in or talk when a sheep caught my attention.

-Hey look, its the black sheep- I said as if it was something funny

It was an ordinary sheep with dirty dark gray wool, grazing at the side of the road, for some reason she amused me and I stared to talk to her, then I realized that at the feet of the sheep began a path in the grass, one of those where the herbs are stomped marking a way. I said goodbye to the sheep, feeling like she was some old friend, and started to walk that little path.

The path went off road along a declining hill, I walked it with a good pace, watching the cow turds mining the way. The hill ended and I entered a plain when a country house showed at a small distance, when i was near it the path had faded and a girl stood by.

She was around twelve, skinny, filthy, her grayish-blue stamped dress was just as dirty as she. she looked at me with pale brown eyes, part scared, part uninterested. I assumed she lived in the house while i noticed she was barefoot with not concern for the cow shit all around.

At that time i was 24 or 25 years old I think. After seeing into her eyes I wanted to fuck her while I told to myself that I just wanted to kiss her. So I walked towards her and started to talk in a soft way, my arms went around her and gently put her in the grass.

When my face got close to hers I started to see all her freckles and the green of her eyes. She just looked at me with the same intense uncaring gaze. My lust grew and I kissed her.

When my lips touched hers a felt a repulsion I had never felt in my live, she was all that is not live, every cell in me chocked dried and collapsed, I felt that nausea of an intoxicated body that cant trow up, smoke in my veins, insanity exploding in my head and every conceivable sickening sensation stroke me at the same time. She was all that live is not.

Then I knew that what we call evil is just the absence of love.

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